Tips for Gay and Lesbian Couples Finding a Surrogate Mom

Gay and Lesbian LGBTQ Pregnancy

Obie Editorial Team

Gay and lesbian couples may choose surrogacy as an alternative to pregnancy or adoption. Surrogate mothers carry a child with the sole intention of allowing the gay or lesbian couple to adopt the child(ren) after birth. There are legal issues associated with surrogacy, which means gay and lesbian couples may need to seek the counsel of an attorney to draw up legally binding paperwork and address legal issues along the way.

It is important for the gay or lesbian couple to discuss every angle of surrogate parenting before searching for an available surrogate mom. Personal issues like methods of conception, legal adoption and feelings associated with potential birth defects and loss of pregnancy need to be addressed on a personal level between the couple before legally binding documents are signed.

Methods of Obtaining a Surrogate Mom

There are three ways of finding a surrogate mom – going through a surrogacy attorney, hiring a surrogate through a licensed agency or private search. Surrogacy attorneys often work with surrogacy agencies on behalf of the gay or lesbian couple. The attorney will collect information from the couple in regards to desired personal traits, religious requirements and/or physical traits. Other details including source of semen to be used, legal and financial issues will need to be addressed before the search can begin.

If the search for a surrogate mom is private, there will still be a need for legal counsel to cover the legal rights of both the surrogate mom and gay or lesbian couple. Legal issues can arise throughout the 40 weeks of gestation so counsel will need to be maintained throughout the procedure.

Fees Associated with a Surrogate Mom

There is a long list of potential fees and financial obligations associated with surrogacy. These fees can include legal fees, medical fees and adoption fees. Typically, room, board and a salary of some sort is also provided for the surrogate mother. Some gay and lesbian couples will agree to allow the surrogate mom to live her life away from the couple during gestation while others wish to have a more personal relationship with the surrogate including attending obstetric appointments and ultrasounds.

The costs of hiring a surrogate mom can be extraordinary. If there are medical issues along the way, the gay or lesbian couple will need front the cost of these out of pocket as most insurance couples do not cover medical bills associated with surrogate parenting.