Infertility and fertility treatments can feel deeply personal, but they often come with social challenges. Whether it’s well-meaning (but frustrating) advice from relatives or the pressure of pregnancy announcements, knowing how to navigate conversations can help protect your emotional well-being.

How to Talk to Friends and Family

You may want to be open about your journey or keep it private—it’s entirely up to you. If you choose to share:

• Set boundaries. You don’t have to answer every question. A simple “We’re working with our doctor and will share when we’re ready” can be enough.
• Let people know how to support you. Some may not understand what you’re going through but want to help. Be specific about what’s helpful (or not helpful).
• Prepare for unwanted advice. Statements like “Just relax and it will happen” can be frustrating. A calm response like “Fertility is more complicated than that, but I appreciate your support” can help steer the conversation.

Handling Social Situations

• Pregnancy announcements: These can be triggering. If needed, step away and take time to process before responding.
• Family gatherings: If baby talk is constant, have an exit strategy or a prepared response to shift the conversation.
• Online spaces: Social media can be overwhelming. Consider muting pregnancy-related posts if they cause stress.

How to Talk to Yourself With Compassion

The way you speak to yourself during fertility challenges matters. Try:

• Replacing self-blame with self-compassion. Infertility is a medical condition, not a personal failure.
• Allowing yourself to grieve. It’s okay to feel sadness, frustration, or anger. These emotions are valid.
• Focusing on what you can control. Whether it’s seeking medical care, taking care of your mental health, or making decisions about next steps—your efforts matter.

Talking about infertility—whether with others or yourself—can be challenging, but setting boundaries and practicing self-compassion can make the process easier.

Source:
Martins, M.V., et al. "Fertility-related stress and coping strategies in different stages of ART." Human Reproduction, vol. 31, no. 6, 2016, pp. 1186-1195. DOI: 10.1093/humrep/dew073