Romance brought the two of you together. Romance helped to make the baby. Romance kept the relationship alive while the baby developed. So what happened to the romance now that the baby is here? Did the prospect of dirty diapers and round the clock feedings chase it away? Did the screaming sounds of the baby kill the romance? Maybe it is the exhaustion that one feels after caring for a newborn baby. No matter what it is that stopped the romance, it is important for the romance to come back to the relationship and for it to continue during the life of that new little body.

Defining romance

Romance is not only the act of loving, but it is also the small behaviors that make one fall in love all over again. Romance does not have to be a candlelit dinner. Romance does not have to be in front of a roaring fire place. These types of romance are often unachievable in most households because of the busy schedule that people live. With a newborn, the idea of passionate romance in front of a roaring fire is often the last thing on a couple’s minds. 

To keep the romance in the relationship after a newborn baby arrives, one must change the notion of romance. No longer is romance the types of things that come out of romance novels. Now romance is reality, but softened by small acts of love. 

• Romance can be defined as holding one’s hand while they walk down the isles of a store, looking for baby things. 
• Romance can be defined as getting up in the middle of the night to handle the baby’s needs so the other can sleep, and never mentioning it. 
• Romance can be taking your partner’s needs, and making them your needs. 
• Romance can be emptying the dishwasher.
• Romance can be taking out the trash.
• Romance can be making dinner for your spouse who normally makes the dinner. 
• Romance can be doing the dishes or cleaning the house so that the one who normally does it does not have to. 
• Romance can be giving the other an opportunity to take that hot bath that he or she wants. 
• Romance can be quiet nights spent reading books together. 
• Romance can be rubbing her feet
• Romance can be the art of growing together during this challenging time.

In the bedroom, the romance does not need to be killed by exhaustion or stress. If the couple helps each other, then both members in the relationship can have more energy for such acts of passion. Several studies show that even if one is not in the mood for loving their partners, the process of going through the motions can bring that mood on with a passion. The act of coupling can bring about a more relaxed state of mind and allow both members of the relationship to sleep better. It can also reduce the stresses that one feels, making for a happier household in total. Romance is making the household more relaxed by simply taking the time to love.